5 Ways to Be a Better...Dater

November 28, 2016, by Whitney

Happy Monday, friends, Whitney here!  I hope you had a refreshing weekend and are feeling ready to power through the day.

Last week, Katie had some great advice for us single ladies about ways that we can improve our alone time.  I particularly liked her ideas about treating yo'self (umm, Black Friday sales anyone?) and being alone but never lonely!

I know that when I found myself single again, I really focused on feeling good with me.  I did yoga, I indulged in late, sleepy mornings and evening bottles of wine, and I really found peace with myself!  Katie's advice on loving yourself is so very important!

But several months later, feeling content with myself, I find that I am ready to continue that search for my special someone!  Wonderful, that should be easy, right?!  ...Wrong!

Friends, the dating world is not what it was when we were in school or freshly out of college.  It can be rough out there!  I've tried just about everything I can think of-- set ups, blind dates, double dates, online dating-- and still no Mr. Right!

So here we find ourselves with my advice for being a better dater!  This is by no means a list of ways to find your person (if you've figured that out, fill me in on your secrets, please!).  But this is a list of ways to keep your sanity and to continue to be your best self out there in the crazy world of dating!

Be Proactive
I am admittedly a bit old fashioned when it comes to dating, I would definitely rather be pursued than make the first move.  But the bottom line is, when you want something, go after it!  If there is a particular person you have in mind, reach-out and start communication.  If there isn't anyone datable in your life but you are ready to find someone, sign-up for an online dating service.  Even if these steps aren't the ones that lead to Prince (or Princess) Charming, at least you will feel like you are taking control of your life.

Be Open-Minded
Let's face it, unless we have a 6th sense, none of us know the exact kind of person we will end up with.  Sure, we might have a list of qualities we are looking for but can we admit that someone might come along and surprise us with wonderful qualities we didn't even know we wanted?!  So be open-minded!  If someone presents themselves but you aren't quite sure if that spark could be there, at least go on one date.  That person could turn into the love of your life...

Be Aware of Your Gut
...or that person could turn out not to be the love of your life...and that's okay!  Perhaps a date looks really good on paper, but for whatever reason, you just aren't feeling a connection.  There's no need to force something that just isn't there.  That just means that there is someone else out there for you (and someone else out there for your date).

Be Honest but Kind
Which leads me to my next point, when you find yourself going on dates with someone but you aren't feeling that spark, be honest with the person.  No one likes to be ghosted!  It's never the best feeling to be on the receiving end of rejection but if you can let a person down in a straight-forward but kind way, everyone can continue to move forward.  And you can continue feeling good about yourself and the way that you treat people!

Be Patient with Yourself
This is maybe my most important bit of advice today...and the hardest to follow.  It can be easy to feel down on yourself and on this dating process.  Allow yourself to feel all of the feelings involved on this crazy roller coaster ride.  Having a bummer dating week (or month)?  Give yourself a day to be a little bit sad and take care of yourself (back to that treat yo'self thing).  Conversely, are you finding yourself excited over the prospect of dating someone even though it's in the very early stages?  That's okay, too!  Why bother with forming a relationship with someone unless you feel excited about them?!  And most importantly, remember that you are wonderful!  If a connection with someone doesn't work out, it's not your fault.  The two of you just weren't each others' match.  Hang-in there and have faith that your special someone is looking for you, too!

So my fellow single ladies, I hope this helps you navigate those emotional waters of the dating world!  And just think about how good it will feel when you finally connect with your person!




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